The Climate Strikes Back

On Friday, millions of manipulated children — or was it children manipulating their elders for an easy, accredited method to cut school? — staged a "climate strike."  And just like that, there was  no climate.  Or something.  But the next day, the climate struck back.  Hard.  It continued.  Just as it has for untold millions (billions? trillions?) of years of constant change.  Or  5,780 years, according to the forthcoming Jewish New Year, which begins next week when the beginning days, which may have lasted seconds, or untold years, also consisted of climate change, states the Torah, known as the Jewish Bible.

1: IN THE beginning G-d created the heaven and the earth.

2 Now the earth was unformed and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep; and the spirit of G-d hovered over the face of the waters.

3 And G-d said: 'Let there be light' And there was light.

4 And G-d saw the light, that it was good; and G-d divided the light from the darkness.

5 And G-d called the light Day, and the darkness He called Night And there was evening and there was morning, one day.

Etc., etc.  Check out the planetary changes that occurred the following days in the beginning.

Contrary to the unscientific climate change high priests,  climate is constantly changing.  For instance, for a variety of reasons, Ice Ages have come and goneaccording to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.

Large, continental ice sheets in the Northern Hemisphere have grown and retreated many times in the past. We call times with large ice sheets "glacial periods" (or ice ages) and times without large ice sheets "interglacial periods." The most recent glacial period occurred between about 120,000 and 11,500 years ago. Since then, Earth has been in an interglacial period called the Holocene. Glacial periods are colder, dustier, and generally drier than interglacial periods. These glacial–interglacial cycles are apparent in many marine and terrestrial paleoclimate records from around the world.

What causes glacial–interglacial cycles?

Variations in Earth's orbit through time have changed the amount of solar radiation Earth receives in each season. Interglacial periods tend to happen during times of more intense summer solar radiation in the Northern Hemisphere. These glacial–interglacial cycles have waxed and waned throughout the Quaternary Period (the past 2.6 million years). Since the middle Quaternary, glacial–interglacial cycles have had a frequency of about 100,000 years (Lisiecki and Raymo 2005). In the solar radiation time series, cycles of this length (known as "eccentricity") are present but are weaker than cycles lasting about 23,000 years (which are called "precession of the equinoxes").

Got that?  Meanwhile, activity beneath the Earth's surface affects our climate.  The Devil is hard at work heating up Hell, sometimes using more souls than other times.  And because heat travels upward, climate changes depending on the Devil's activities.  Or something.

Volcanic eruptions also affect the immediate weather and the long-term climate, according to the U.S. Geologic Survey.

Volcanoes can affect the Earth's climate.

Volcanoes can impact climate change. During major explosive eruptions huge amounts of volcanic gas, aerosol droplets, and ash are injected into the stratosphere. Injected ash falls rapidly from the stratosphere — most of it is removed within several days to weeks — and has little impact on climate change. But volcanic gases like sulfur dioxide can cause global cooling, while volcanic carbon dioxide, a greenhouse gas, has the potential to promote global warming.

Ocean temperatures, which also change cyclically for complex reasons, also affect the climate, as the U.S. Department of Commerce's National Ocean Service explains.

El Niño and La Niña are opposite phases of what is known as the El Niño-Southern Oscillation (ENSO) cycle. The ENSO cycle is a scientific term that describes the fluctuations in temperature between the ocean and atmosphere in the east-central Equatorial Pacific (approximately between the International Date Line and 120 degrees West).

La Niña is sometimes referred to as the cold phase of ENSO and El Niño as the warm phase of ENSO. These deviations from normal surface temperatures can have large-scale impacts not only on ocean processes, but also on global weather and climate.

El Niño and La Niña episodes typically last nine to 12 months, but some prolonged events may last for years. While their frequency can be quite irregular, El Niño and La Niña events occur on average every two to seven years. Typically, El Niño occurs more frequently than La Niña.

So, kiddies, I hope you had fun striking the climate.  But the climate, the planet, hopefully even you, will last a lot longer than 12 years, no matter what former waitress/bartender turned politician Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) believes.  So sleep tight; don't worry — the climate will be here tomorrow.  And so will most of you.  And for many, many tomorrows, even after you grow up and laugh at your childish beliefs and a new silliness emerges that your children parrot.  

This hasn't changed over centuries.